Life of Antony 38–58

We must not boast of casting out demons, nor be puffed up by healings; nor should we admire only the one who casts out demons and despise the one who does not. Rather, let each person learn the ascetic life of every other, and either imitate and emulate it or correct it. For working signs is not ours to do; it is the Savior’s work. He said to his disciples: ‘Do not rejoice that the demons are subject to you, but that your names are written in heaven.’ For to have our names written in heaven is a testimony to our virtue and our life; but to cast out demons is a grace of the Savior who gave it. Therefore to those who boasted not in virtue but in signs, and said, ‘Lord, did we not cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ he answered: ‘Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’ For the Lord does not know the ways of the ungodly. In general one must pray, as I said before, to receive the gift of discernment of spirits, so that, as it is written, we may not believe every spirit.

I wanted to keep silent and say nothing of my own, but to be content with these words alone. But so that you may not think I am saying these things idly, but may believe that I recount them from experience and truth, for this reason, even if I become a fool, the Lord who hears knows the purity of my conscience, and that it is not for my own sake but for the sake of your love and encouragement that I tell again what I have seen of the demons’ practices. How often they called me blessed, and I cursed them in the name of the Lord! How often they foretold the rising of the river, and I said to them: ‘And what is that to you?’ Once they came threatening and surrounded me like soldiers in full armor. Another time they filled the house with horses, wild beasts, and creeping things; and I sang: ‘Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we will be magnified in the name of the Lord our God’; and at my prayers they were routed by the Lord. Once they came in darkness, with the appearance of light, and said: ‘We have come to give you light, Antony.’ But I shut my eyes and prayed, and at once the light of the ungodly was quenched. A few months later they came as if singing psalms and speaking from the Scriptures; ‘but I, like a deaf man, did not hear.’ Once they shook the monastery; but I prayed, remaining unmoved in mind. And after this they came again, clapping, hissing, and dancing. But as I prayed, and lay singing psalms to myself, at once they began to lament and weep as though their strength had failed; and I glorified the Lord, who brought down their daring and their madness and made an example of them.

Once a demon appeared, very tall, with an apparition, and dared to say: ‘I am the power of God,’ and ‘I am providence; what do you wish me to give you?’ But then I blew upon him all the more, naming Christ, and tried to strike him; and I seemed to have struck him, and at once that huge figure vanished, with all his demons, at the name of Christ. Once, when I was fasting, the crafty one came like a monk, with an apparition of loaves, and counseled me, saying: ‘Eat, and rest from your many labors; you too are a man and are going to fall ill.’ But I, perceiving his trickery, got up to pray; and he could not bear it, for he vanished and was seen going out through the door like smoke. How often in the desert he showed me an apparition of gold, only so that I might touch it and look at it! But I sang psalms against him, and he melted away. Often they beat me with blows, and I said: ‘Nothing will separate me from the love of Christ’; and after that they rather beat one another. It was not I who stopped them and brought them to nothing, but the Lord, who said: ‘I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.’ And I, children, remembering the apostolic saying, have applied these things to myself, so that you may learn not to lose heart in the ascetic life nor to fear the apparitions of the devil and his demons.

And since I have become a fool in telling these things, receive this too for your safety and freedom from fear; and believe me, for I do not lie. Once someone knocked at my door in the monastery; and going out, I saw someone appearing very large and tall. When I asked, ‘Who are you?’ he said, ‘I am Satan.’ When I then said, ‘Why are you here?’ he said: ‘Why do the monks and all the other Christians blame me for nothing? Why do they curse me every hour?’ When I said, ‘Why then do you trouble them?’ he said: ‘It is not I who trouble them; they trouble themselves; for I have become weak. Have they not read that the swords of the enemy have failed utterly, and you have destroyed cities? I no longer have a place, nor a dart, nor a city. Everywhere there are Christians; and now even the desert is filled with monks. Let them guard themselves and not curse me for nothing.’ Then, marveling at the grace of the Lord, I said to him: ‘Though you are always a liar and never speak the truth, yet this time, even against your will, you have spoken the truth; for Christ by his coming has made you weak, and has cast you down and stripped you bare.’ When he heard the Savior’s name, he could not bear its burning, and vanished.

If, then, the devil himself confesses that he can do nothing, we ought to despise him and his demons completely. The enemy with his dogs has all these tricks; but we, having learned their weakness, are able to despise them. In this way, then, let us not be cast down beforehand in our minds, nor entertain cowardice in our souls, nor fashion fears for ourselves, saying: ‘What if a demon comes and overthrows me? What if he lifts me up and hurls me down, or suddenly appears and throws me into confusion?’ Let us not think such things at all, nor grieve as though we were perishing; but let us rather take courage and always rejoice, as those who are being saved; and let us reckon in our souls that the Lord is with us, who routed them and brought them to nothing. And let us always consider and bear in mind that while the Lord is with us, our enemies will do us no harm. For when they come, they become toward us just such as they find us, and they shape their apparitions to match the thoughts they find in us. If, then, they find us afraid and troubled, at once, like robbers who find a place unguarded, they attack; and what we were thinking of ourselves, they do with additions. For if they see us fearful and cowardly, they increase our cowardice still more with apparitions and threats, and thereafter the wretched soul is punished by these things. But if they find us rejoicing in the Lord, thinking about the good things to come, pondering the things of the Lord, and reasoning that all things are in the Lord’s hand, and that a demon has no strength against a Christian, nor any authority at all against anyone, then, seeing the soul made safe by such thoughts, they turn away in shame. So the enemy, seeing Job fenced about, withdrew from him; but finding Judas stripped of these defenses, he took him captive. So if we wish to despise the enemy, let us always think about the things of the Lord, and let the soul always rejoice in hope; and we shall see the demons’ games vanish like smoke, and the demons fleeing rather than pursuing. For they are, as I said before, very cowardly, always expecting the fire prepared for them.

And for freedom from fear of them, keep this test among yourselves: when some apparition occurs, do not fall down beforehand in cowardice, but whatever it may be, first ask with courage: ‘Who are you, and where do you come from?’ If it is a vision of holy ones, they will reassure you and change your fear into joy; but if it is something of the devil, it at once grows weak, seeing your mind strong. For simply to ask, ‘Who are you, and where are you from?’ is a sign of calmness. So the son of Nun learned by asking; and the enemy did not escape Daniel’s notice when he asked.

While Antony was speaking of these things, all rejoiced: in some the love of virtue increased, in others negligence was cast out, in others conceit was stopped; and all were persuaded to despise the plotting of the demons, marveling at the grace given by the Lord to Antony for the discernment of spirits. So the monasteries in the mountains were like tents filled with divine choirs of people singing psalms, studying, fasting, praying, rejoicing in the hope of the things to come, working in order to give alms, and keeping love and harmony with one another. One could truly see, as it were, a land apart, a land of godliness and righteousness. For there was no one there who did wrong or suffered wrong, nor any complaint about the tax-collector; but a multitude of ascetics, and in all of them one mind set on virtue. So anyone who saw the monasteries again, and such order among the monks, would cry out and say: ‘How fair are your houses, O Jacob, your tents, O Israel! Like shady glens, and like a garden by a river, and like tents which the Lord pitched, and like cedars beside the waters.’

He himself, however, would withdraw alone as usual into his own monastery and intensify his discipline. Every day he sighed, thinking of the dwelling-places in heaven, longing for them, and considering how short-lived human life is. For when he was about to eat and sleep and attend to the other needs of the body, he was ashamed, thinking of the spiritual nature of the soul. Often, at any rate, when he was about to eat with many other monks, he remembered the spiritual food, excused himself, and went far away from them, thinking he would blush if he were seen eating by others. He ate, however, by himself because of the body’s need, and often also with the brothers, ashamed in these things, but speaking freely in words that would benefit them. And he said that one ought to give all one’s leisure to the soul rather than to the body, and to grant a little time to the body because of necessity, but to devote the whole rather to the soul and to seek its benefit, so that the soul may not be dragged down by the pleasures of the body, but the body rather be brought into subjection by the soul. For this, he said, is what the Savior meant: ‘Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. And do not seek what you will eat or what you will drink, and do not be in suspense; for all the nations of the world seek after all these things. But your Father knows that you need all these things. Seek first his kingdom, and all these things will be added to you.’

After this the persecution that took place at that time under Maximin overtook the church. When the holy martyrs were being led to Alexandria, he too left his monastery and followed, saying: ‘Let us go too, so that we may contend if we are called, or else watch those who are contending.’ He longed to be martyred; but not wishing to hand himself over, he ministered to the confessors in the mines and in the prisons. He was very zealous in the court, stirring up to eagerness those who were called as they contended, and receiving those who were being martyred and escorting them until they were perfected. The judge, then, seeing the fearlessness of Antony and of those with him, and their zeal in this, ordered that none of the monks should appear in the court, nor stay in the city at all. All the others decided to hide that day; but Antony paid so little heed that he even washed his upper garment, and the next day stood in front in a raised place and showed himself plainly to the governor. While all marveled at this, and the governor saw him as he passed by with his escort, he stood unshaken, showing the eagerness of us Christians; for he too prayed to be martyred, as I said before. He seemed grieved that he had not been martyred; but the Lord was guarding him for our benefit and for that of others, so that he might become a teacher to many in the ascetic life which he himself had learned from the Scriptures. For many, simply by seeing his conduct, became eager to emulate his way of life. So again he ministered as usual to the confessors, and toiled in serving them as though he were in chains with them.

When at last the persecution ceased, and the blessed bishop Peter had been martyred, he departed and withdrew again to his monastery; and there he was daily a martyr in his conscience, contending in the struggles of faith. For he practiced a great and still more intense discipline: he fasted continually, and his clothing was of hair inside and of skin outside, which he kept until his death. He never bathed his body with water to remove dirt, nor washed his feet at all, nor even allowed himself to put them in water without necessity. No one ever saw him undressed, nor did anyone ever see Antony’s body naked, except when he died and was buried.

When he had withdrawn and had resolved to spend a time neither going out himself nor receiving anyone, a certain Martinian, a military officer, came and troubled Antony; for he had a daughter troubled by a demon. As he remained a long time knocking at the door and begging him to come out and pray to God for his child, Antony would not consent to open, but leaning out from above he said: ‘Man, why do you cry out to me? I too am a man, as you are. But if you believe in Christ, whom I serve, go, and pray to God as you believe, and it will be done.’ At once he believed, called upon Christ, and went away with his daughter cleansed of the demon. And the Lord did many other things through him, the Lord who said: ‘Ask, and it will be given to you.’ For very many of the sufferers, though he did not open his door, merely slept outside the monastery, and by believing and praying sincerely they were cleansed.

When he saw that he was troubled by many and not allowed to withdraw as he wished, he was afraid that, because of the things the Lord was doing through him, either he himself might become proud, or someone else might think of him more highly than he deserved; so he considered the matter and set out to go up to the Upper Thebaid, among people who did not know him. Having received bread from the brothers, he sat by the banks of the river, watching to see whether a boat would pass, so that he might embark and go up with those on board. While he was considering these things, a voice came to him from above: ‘Antony, where are you going, and why?’ He was not troubled, but, as one accustomed to being called in this way, he listened and answered: ‘Since the crowds do not let me be quiet, I want to go up to the Upper Thebaid, because of the many disturbances that come upon me here, and especially because they ask me for things beyond my power.’ The voice said to him: ‘Even if you go up to the Thebaid, or, as you are thinking, go down to the Bucolia, you will have to endure more labor, twice as much. But if you really wish to be quiet, go now into the inner desert.’ When Antony said, ‘And who will show me the way? For I do not know it,’ the voice at once showed him some Saracens who were about to travel that road. So Antony went up and approached them, and asked to go with them into the desert. They welcomed him eagerly, as though at the command of Providence; and having traveled three days and three nights with them, he came to a very high mountain. Below the mountain was water, very clear, sweet, and very cold; outside there was a plain, and a few neglected date palms.

Antony, as though prompted by God, loved the place; for this was the place indicated by the one who had spoken to him on the banks of the river. At first, having received bread from his fellow travelers, he remained alone on the mountain, with no one else with him; for he recognized it as his own home and kept that place from then on. The Saracens themselves, seeing Antony’s eagerness, purposely traveled that road and gladly brought him bread; and he also had the small and humble comfort of the palms. Later, when the brothers learned where he was, they took care, like children remembering their father, to send him supplies. But Antony, seeing that some were put to trouble there on account of the bread and endured hardship, and sparing the monks in this too, took counsel with himself and asked some of those who came to him to bring him a hoe, an axe, and a little grain. When these were brought, he went over the land around the mountain, found a very small place that was suitable, and cultivated it; and having abundant water from the spring, he sowed it. Doing this every year, he had his bread from there, rejoicing that he would be a trouble to no one on this account, and that in all things he kept himself from being a burden. But afterwards, seeing that people were coming again, he also grew a few vegetables, so that the visitor might have some small refreshment after the labor of that hard road. At first the wild beasts in the desert, coming for the water, often damaged his seed and his cultivation; but he gently caught one of the beasts and said to them all: ‘Why do you harm me, when I harm none of you?’ … the command, they no longer came near the place.

He, then, was alone on the inner mountain, devoting himself to prayer and discipline; and the brothers who served him asked that they might come every few months and bring him olives, pulses, and oil; for he was now old. How many struggles he endured while living there, ‘not against blood and flesh,’ as it is written, but against the opposing demons, we learned from those who visited him. For there too they heard uproars, many voices, and clashing as of weapons; they saw the mountain at night full of wild beasts; and they saw him fighting as though against visible foes, and praying against them. Those who came to him he encouraged, while he himself contended, bending his knees and praying to the Lord. And it was truly worthy of wonder that, alone in such a desert, he was neither terrified when the demons assailed him, nor, though there were so many four-footed beasts and creeping things there, did he fear their savagery; but truly, as it is written, he trusted in the Lord like Mount Zion, with a mind unshaken and calm, so that instead the demons fled, and the wild beasts, as it is written, were at peace with him.

The devil, as David sings, watched Antony and gnashed his teeth at him; but Antony was comforted by the Savior, remaining unharmed by his craft and his varied wiles. Once, when he was keeping vigil at night, the devil let loose wild beasts on him; nearly all the hyenas in that desert came out of their dens and surrounded him, and he was in the middle. As each one gaped and threatened to bite, he perceived the enemy’s craft and said to them all: ‘If you have received authority over me, I am ready to be eaten by you; but if you have been sent by demons, do not delay, but go away; for I am a servant of Christ.’ As Antony said this, they fled, as though driven by the whip of his word.

Then a few days later, as he was working (for he took care to labor too), someone standing at the door pulled the thread of his work; for he was weaving baskets, and gave them to those who came to him in return for what they brought him. He got up and saw a beast, like a man as far as the thighs, but with legs and feet like those of an ass. Antony simply sealed himself and said: ‘I am a servant of Christ; if you have been sent against me, here I am.’ And the beast, together with its demons, fled so fast that in its haste it fell and died. The beast’s death was the fall of the demons. For they were striving to do everything to drive him down from the desert, and they did not prevail.

Once, when the monks asked him to come down to them and visit them and their places after a long time, he set out with the monks who had come to meet him; and a camel carried their bread and water for them. For that whole desert is waterless, and there is no drinkable water at all except on that mountain alone, where his monastery is and from which they had drawn water. When the water ran out on the road, and the heat was extreme, they were all in danger. For having gone around the area and found no water, they could no longer even walk, but lay on the ground, and they let the camel go, despairing of themselves. The old man, seeing them all in danger, was very grieved and groaned; and going a little way from them, he bent his knees, stretched out his hands, and prayed. At once the Lord made water come out where he had stood praying; and so they all drank and revived. Filling their skins, they looked for the camel and found it; for the rope had happened to get wound around a stone, and so it had been held fast. Leading it back and watering it, they put the skins on it and traveled on unharmed. When he came to the outer monasteries, they all greeted him, looking on him as a father. And he, as though bringing provisions from the mountain, entertained them with his words and shared the benefit with them. Again there was joy in the mountains, zeal for progress, and encouragement through their common faith. He himself rejoiced too, seeing the eagerness of the monks, and his sister, grown old in virginity and herself also leading other virgins.

A few days later he went back to the mountain; and from then on many came to him, and others who were suffering dared to come in. To all the monks who came to him he constantly gave this charge: to believe in the Lord and love him; to guard themselves from filthy thoughts and fleshly pleasures, and, as it is written in Proverbs, not to be led astray by the filling of the belly; to flee vainglory; to pray constantly; to sing psalms before and after sleep; to learn by heart the commandments in the Scriptures; and to remember the deeds of the saints, so that the soul, reminded by the commandments, may be shaped by zeal to imitate them. Above all he counseled them to meditate constantly on the Apostle’s saying, ‘Do not let the sun go down on your anger,’ and to regard this as said of every commandment alike, so that the sun should go down not only on our anger but on no other sin of ours either. For it is good and necessary that neither the sun should condemn us for a sin committed by day, nor the moon for a sin by night, or even for a thought. So that this may be preserved in us, it is good to hear and keep the Apostle’s words; for he says: ‘Examine yourselves, and test yourselves.’ Each day, then, let each one take account with himself of his actions by day and by night; and if he has sinned, let him stop; if he has not sinned, let him not boast, but persevere in the good, and not be negligent, nor condemn his neighbor, nor justify himself, as the blessed apostle Paul said, until the Lord comes who searches out what is hidden. For often we are not aware even of ourselves in what we do; we do not know, but the Lord comprehends all things. So let us leave the judgment to him, suffer with one another, bear one another’s burdens, examine ourselves, and be eager to make up what we lack. And let this too be a safeguard against sinning: let each of us note down and write our actions and the movements of our soul, as though we were going to report them to one another; and be confident that, being ashamed to have them known, we shall stop sinning and even thinking anything evil at all. For who wants to be seen when he is sinning? Or who, having sinned, does not rather lie, wishing to escape notice? As, then, we would not commit sexual immorality while watching one another, so, if we write down our thoughts as though reporting them to one another, we shall guard ourselves the better from filthy thoughts, ashamed to have them known. Let the writing, then, take the place of the eyes of our fellow ascetics, so that, blushing to write as though we were being seen, we may not even think of evil things at all. Shaping ourselves in this way, we shall be able to bring the body into subjection, to please the Lord, and to trample on the wiles of the enemy.

These were the charges he gave to those who came to him; with those who suffered he suffered and prayed, and often, in many cases, the Lord heard him. He neither boasted when he was heard, nor murmured when he was not; but he always gave thanks to the Lord, and urged the sufferers to be patient and to know that healing belongs neither to him nor to any human being at all, but to God alone, who brings it about when he wills and for those he wishes. So the sufferers received even the old man’s words as healing, learning for their part not to lose heart but rather to be patient; and those who were healed were taught to give thanks not to Antony but to God alone.

A certain Fronto, who belonged to the Palace, had a terrible affliction: he was biting his own tongue to pieces, and his eyes were in danger of being damaged. He came to the mountain and asked Antony to pray for him. Antony prayed and said to Fronto: ‘Go, and you will be healed.’ When he insisted and stayed inside for days, Antony persisted, saying: ‘You cannot be healed if you stay here. Go out, and when you reach Egypt you will see the sign that is done for you.’ He believed and went out; and as soon as he came in sight of Egypt, his affliction ceased, and the man was made well, according to the word of Antony, which Antony had learned from the Savior in prayer.

A virgin from Busiris in Tripolis had a terrible and very loathsome affliction: her tears, the mucus from her nose, and the fluid from her ears became worms as soon as they fell to the ground; her body was paralyzed, and her eyes were abnormal. When her parents learned that some monks were going to Antony, they believed in the Lord who healed the woman with the flow of blood, and asked to travel with them, together with their daughter. The monks agreed, and the parents with the girl stayed outside the mountain with Paphnutius, the confessor and monk; and the monks went in. As soon as they wished to tell him about the virgin, he anticipated them and described the girl’s affliction and how she had traveled with them. When they asked that her parents too be allowed to come in, he did not allow it, but said: ‘Go, and you will find her healed, unless she has died. For this is not my achievement, that she should come to me, a wretched man; the healing belongs to the Savior, who works his mercy in every place for those who call upon him. To her too, then, the Lord has inclined as she prayed, and his love for humanity has shown me that he will heal the girl’s affliction where she is.’ The miracle took place; and going out they found the parents rejoicing and the girl now in good health.