Acts of John 101–114

[101] Nothing, therefore, of what they will say about me have I suffered; but that passion too which I showed you and the rest in the dance I wish to be called a mystery. For what you are, you see, and this I showed you; but what I am, that I alone know, and no one else. Let me, then, keep what is mine; and what is yours, see through me; and see me truly, not what I said I am, but what you, being akin, can know. You hear that I suffered, yet I did not suffer; that I did not suffer, yet I suffered; that I was pierced, yet I was not struck; hanged, yet I was not hanged; that blood flowed from me, yet it did not flow; and in a word, what they say about me, these things I did not undergo, but what they do not say, those things I suffered. What they are I signify to you; for I know that you will understand. Perceive in me, then, the praising of the Word, the piercing of the Word, the blood of the Word, the wound of the Word, the hanging of the Word, the passion of the Word, the nailing of the Word, the death of the Word. And so I speak, separating off the man. First, then, perceive the Word; then you will perceive the Lord, and third the man, and what he has suffered." [102] When he had said these things to me, and others which I do not know how to say as he would have them, he was taken up, none of the crowd having seen him. And when I came down, I laughed at them all, since he had told me what they had said about him, holding firmly within myself this one thing, that the Lord had done everything symbolically and by a dispensation, for the conversion and salvation of men. [103] Having seen, then, brothers, the grace of the Lord and his affection toward us, let us worship him, as those who have received mercy from him, not with fingers nor mouths nor tongue nor any bodily organ at all, but with the disposition of the soul, him who became man of this body; and let us keep watch, since now too he waits on us in prisons, and in tombs, in bonds and dungeons, in reproaches and insults, by sea and on dry land, in scourgings, condemnations, plots, deceits, punishments; and in a word he is with all of us, and suffers with us when we suffer, brothers. When he is called upon by each of us, he does not endure to stop his ears to us, but being everywhere he hears all of us, and now both me and Drusiana, being the God of those who are shut in, bringing help to us by his own compassion. [104] Be persuaded, then, you too, beloved, that it is not a man whom I proclaim to you to worship, but God unchangeable, God invincible, God higher than every authority and every power, and older and mightier than all the angels and the so-called creatures and all the aeons. If, then, you hold fast to this and are built up in it, you will have your soul indestructible." [105] And having delivered these things to the brothers, John went away with Andronicus for a walk. And Drusiana too followed at a distance with all the others, to see the deeds done by him and to hear his word, always in the Lord.

[106] So John was with the brothers, rejoicing in the Lord. And on the next day, it being the Lord's day, and all the brothers having gathered, he began to say to them: "Brothers and fellow servants and co-heirs and fellow partakers of the kingdom of the Lord, you know how many mighty works the Lord has granted you through me, how many wonders, how many healings, how many signs, what gifts of grace, teachings, guidance, refreshments, ministries, know- [Other recension: When he knew of his departure through a revelation of the Lord, it being the Lord's day, he was with the brothers after the divine and awesome initiation into the mysteries and the breaking of bread; and when all had gathered he said: "Since, my little children, the time of my] -ledge, glories, graces, gifts, faiths, fellowships, all that you have seen given to you by him before your eyes, which do not appear to these eyes nor are heard by these ears. Be established, then, in him, remembering him in every action of yours, knowing the mystery of the dispensation that has come about toward men, for whose sake the Lord has done his work. He himself, through me, begs and entreats you, brothers, wishing to remain without grief, without insult, without treachery, without punishment; for he knows the insult that comes from you, he knows dishonour too, he knows treachery too, he knows punishment too, when his commandments are disobeyed. [107] Let not, then, our good God be grieved, the com- [Other recension: life is short and small, and I am about to go to my Lord, be established in the faith and love of Christ; and what you have seen done by me and have received, do not forget, so that I too at the resurrection of the Lord may say: 'Here am I and the children whom God has given me.' Remember how many helps God has granted you through me: gifts of healing, guidance, knowledge, fellowships, faiths, teachings, gifts of healing;

and be kind and compassionate, … one another] -passionate, the merciful, the holy, the pure, the undefiled, the immaterial, the only, the one, the unchangeable, the sincere, the guileless, the slow to anger, he who is higher and more exalted than every name spoken or thought by us, our God Jesus Christ. Let him rejoice with us because we conduct ourselves well; let him be glad because we live in purity; let him rest because we behave reverently; let him be free of care because we live in self-control; let him be pleased because we share with one another; let him smile because we are sober-minded; let him feast because we love him. These things I say to you, brothers, as I now hasten to the work set before me, already being brought to completion by the Lord. For what else could I say to you? You have the pledges of our God; you have the earnests of his good- [Other recension: … building up, living in all self-control and reverence. These things I say to you, brothers: I am now going to the work set before me; and even if I am separated from you in the body, yet in the spirit I shall not be separated.] You have the pledges of our God; you have the earnests of his goodness; you have his presence, which cannot be refused. If, then, you sin no more, he forgives you what you did in ignorance; but if, after knowing him and receiving mercy from him, you return to the like courses, your former deeds too will be reckoned against you, and you will have no portion or mercy before him." [108] And having said this to them, he prayed thus: "Jesus, who wove this crown with your weaving; who fitted these many flowers into the unfading flower of your face; who sowed these words in them; the only guardian of your servants, and physician who heals freely; the only benefactor, and unhaughty; the only merciful one and lover of mankind; the only Saviour, and righteous; who always see what belongs to all, and are in all, and are present everywhere, and all things — [Other recension: … of him; you have him in your midst always, when you live well.] — encompassing and filling all things, Christ Jesus, God, Lord, who with your gifts and your mercy shelter those who hope in you; who know precisely the arts of our adversary everywhere and all the insults which he plots against us: do you alone, Lord, help your servants by your watchful care." [109] … the pearl, the treasure, the plough, the net, the majesty, the diadem, him who for our sakes was called Son of Man, who gave us the truth, the rest, the knowledge, the power, the commandment, the confidence, the hope, the love, the freedom, the refuge in you. For you alone, Lord, are the root of immortality and the fountain of incorruption and the seat of the ages, called all these things for our sakes now, so that calling on you by these names we may know your greatness, which at present is invisible to us, but visible to the pure alone, as it is portrayed in your only man. [110] And having broken the bread he gave it to all of us, praying for each of the brothers that he might be worthy of the grace of the Lord and of the most holy eucharist. And having himself also tasted it likewise and said, "To me too let there be a portion with you, and peace with you, beloved," after this he said to Verus: [111] "Take with you some men, two, with baskets and spades, and follow me." And Verus, without delay, did what he was ordered by the servant of God John. So the blessed John came out of the house and walked before the gates, having told most of them [Other recension: And when he had said more of these things, and the people were wetting the ground with their tears, he said to Eutyches, also called Verus …] to stand away from him; and coming to the tomb of one of our brothers he said to the young men: "Dig, children." And they dug. And he urged them on the more, saying: "Let the trench be deeper." And while they dug he spoke the word of God to them and encouraged those who had come out of the house with him, building them up and preparing them for the greatness of God, and praying for each of us. And when the young men had finished the trench as he wished, while we knew nothing, he takes off the garments he had on and lays them like a bedding in the bottom of the trench; and standing in his shift only he stretched out his hands and prayed thus: [Other recension: … "Child Eutyches, I appoint you, after God, first-enthroned and shepherd of this people; see, child Verus, how you are to shepherd the flock …"] [112] "O you who chose us for the apostleship among the nations; who sent us into the inhabited world, O God; who showed yourself through the law and the prophets; who never rested, but always save from the foundation of the world those who can be saved; who made yourself known through all nature; who proclaimed yourself even to animals; who made the desolate and savage soul gentle and quiet; who gave yourself to it when it thirsted for your words; who appeared to it quickly when it was dying; who showed yourself as law to it when it was sinking into lawlessness; who appeared to it when it had been overcome by Satan; who overcame its adversary when it fled to you for refuge; who gave it your hand and raised it from the things of Hades; who did not let it live in the body; who showed it its own enemy; who made its knowledge of you pure, God Jesus; Father of the beings above the heavens, Master of those in the heavens, law of those in the ether and course of those in the air, guardian of those on earth and terror of those below the earth and grace of your own: receive also the soul of your John, which has perhaps been counted worthy by you.

You who have kept me also, until this present hour, pure for yourself and untouched by union with a woman; who, when I wished in my youth to marry, appeared to me and said: 'I need you, John'; who arranged beforehand a bodily weakness for me; who, when I wished to marry for the third time, at once hindered me, and then at the third hour of the day said to me on the sea: 'John, if you were not mine, I would have let you marry'; who blinded me for two years, granting me to mourn and to pray to you; who in the third year opened the eyes of my mind and granted me also the eyes that are seen; who, when I recovered my sight, set it down that even to gaze at a woman was hateful to me; who rescued me from the passing fantasy and guided me to that which abides for ever; who separated me from the filthy madness in the flesh; who took bitter death from me and set me upon you alone; who muzzled the hidden disease of my soul and cut out the open deed; who afflicted and banished the one who rebelled within me; who made my love toward you spotless; who prepared my journey to you unbroken; who gave me undoubting faith in you; who drew for me a pure mind toward you; who render to each of his works the reward it deserves; who placed in my soul the wish to have no possession but you alone, for what is more precious than you? Now, then, Lord, since I have accomplished the stewardship with which I was entrusted by you, count me worthy of your rest, granting me the end in you, which is salvation unspeakable and unutterable.

And as I come to you, let fire draw back, let darkness be overcome, let chaos be enfeebled, let the furnace grow dim, let Gehenna be quenched; let angels follow, let demons be afraid; let rulers be shattered, let powers fall; let the places on the right stand firm, let those on the left not remain; let the devil be muzzled, let Satan be laughed to scorn, let his wrath be burnt out, let his madness be calmed, let his vengeance be put to shame, let his onslaught be in pain, let his children be struck down, and let all his root be torn up. And grant me to complete the journey to you without insult and without abuse, receiving what you promised to those who live purely and have loved you alone." And having sealed himself all over, standing, and having said, "You are with me, Lord Jesus Christ," he lay down in the trench where he had spread his garments; and having said to us, "Peace be with you, brothers," he gave up his spirit rejoicing. [115] …