Acts of John 66–96

And when she had been carried out to burial, John took Andronicus aside, and having learned the cause, he mourned more than Andronicus; and he kept silence, considering the insults of the adversary, and sat a little while. Then, when the brothers had gathered to hear what word he would speak about the departed, he began to say:

"The pilot, sailing with his passengers and the ship itself, when he has been brought into a calm and stormless harbour, then let him say that he is saved. And the farmer who has given the seed to the earth and has toiled much in tending and guarding it, then has rest from his labours when he stores the seed many times multiplied in his barns. Let him who has entered for a race in the stadium rejoice when he carries off the prize. Let him who has enrolled for boxing boast when he receives the crowns. And so with all the other contests and the arts, when at the end they are not found empty, but are shown to have achieved what they promised. [68] The same, I think, holds also for the faith which each of us practises: it is then judged whether it was indeed true, when it has continued level right to the end of life. For many hindrances fall in the way and cause confusion to human reasoning: care, children, parents, glory, poverty, flattery, the prime of youth, beauty, boasting, desire, wealth, anger, pride, laziness, envy, wealth, jealousy, negligence, insolence, lust, deceit, money, pretext, and all the other such hindrances as there are in life; just as for the pilot running a calm course there comes the onset of contrary winds and a great storm and a high sea out of a calm, and for the farmer an untimely winter and blight and creeping things coming up from the earth, and for the athletes the near miss, and for those who practise the arts what comes from them.

But before all else the believing man must foresee his departure, and consider what it will be like when it comes: whether vigorous and sober and having no hindrance, or troubled, fawning on the things here, and bound by desires. So too a body is to be praised as handsome when it is wholly stripped, and a general as great when he has fulfilled the whole promise of the war, and that physician as the best who succeeds in every cure; and a soul as full of faith and worthy of God when it has made good the promise in full: not the one that began and then gave way to all the things of life and fell away, nor the one that grew numb, forcing itself to be among the better things and then dragged down to the things of time; nor the one that longed for temporal things more than for eternal; nor the one that exchanged for things that do not last; nor the one that honoured works of dishonour worthy of insult; nor the one that took pledges from Satan; nor the one that received the serpent into its own house; nor the one that was reproached on God's account and yet felt no shame; nor the one that says yes with the mouth but does not show it in deed; but the one that held out so as not to be weakened by filthy pleasure, not to be overcome by laziness, not to be ensnared by love of money, and not to be betrayed by the prime of the body or by anger."

And while John was still saying more to the brothers, that they should despise the things of time for the sake of these, the man in love with Drusiana, inflamed with most terrible desire and by the working of the many-formed Satan, bribed with a large sum of money the steward of Andronicus, a lover of money; who opened the tomb of Drusiana [and gave him leave] to carry out the forbidden thing on the dead body. Having failed to win her while she lived, he persisted with her body after death, declaring: "If you would not consent to have intercourse with me while you were alive, I will outrage you after death, when you are a corpse." So with this in mind, and having arranged the impiety for himself through the abominable steward, he burst into the tomb together with him; and opening the door they began to strip the grave-clothes from the body, saying: "What have you gained, wretched Drusiana? Could you not have done this while you were alive, which perhaps would not have grieved you if you had done it willingly?"

And while they were saying this, and only her customary shift remained on her flesh, a strange sight is seen, such as those who do such things deserve to suffer: a serpent, appearing from somewhere, strikes the steward with a single blow, and killed him; but the young man it did not strike, but coiled itself terribly around his feet, hissing, and when he fell, the serpent climbed up and sat on top of him.

And on the next day John comes at dawn to the tomb with Andronicus and the brothers, it being the third day of Drusiana's death, so that we might break bread there. And at first, as they came, the keys could not be found when they looked for them; and John said to Andronicus: "They have been lost with good reason, for Drusiana is not in the tomb. But all the same let us go, so that you may not be negligent, and the doors will open of themselves, as the Lord has granted us many other things."

And when we were at the place, at the master's command the doors opened, and by Drusiana's grave we saw a beautiful young man, smiling; and seeing him John cried out and said: "Have you come here before us too, fair one? For what reason?" And he hears a voice saying to him: "For the sake of Drusiana, whom you are about to raise up, for she came within a little of being found … and for the sake of the one who has died near her tomb." And having said this to John, the fair one went up into the heavens, as we all watched. And John, turning to the other part of the tomb, sees a young man, a leading man of the Ephesians, Callimachus (for so he was called), and a huge serpent sleeping on him, and Andronicus's steward, called Fortunatus, dead. And seeing both he stood perplexed, saying to the brothers: "What does such a sight mean? Or why did the Lord not reveal to me what was done here, he who has never neglected me?"

And Andronicus, seeing those men dead, leapt up and went to Drusiana's grave; and seeing her in her shift alone, he said to John: "I understand what has happened, blessed servant of God, John. This Callimachus was in love with my sister; and failing to win her, though he often attempted it, he bribed this accursed steward of mine with a large sum of money, intending perhaps, as one can now see, to carry out through him the drama of his plot; for Callimachus had admitted this to many: 'Even if she will not consent to me alive, she will be outraged when dead.' And perhaps, master, the fair one made known that he would not allow her remains to be outraged, and for this reason those who dared this are dead. And surely the voice that said to you, 'Raise Drusiana,' was foretelling this, since she departed this life in grief. And I believe the one who said that this man is one of those who have been led astray; for you were also commanded to raise him; as for the other, I know that he is unworthy of salvation. But this one thing I ask of you: raise Callimachus first, and he will confess to us what has happened." [75] And John, looking at the corpse, said to the venomous reptile: "Depart from him who is to serve Jesus Christ"; and standing up he prayed thus: "O God, whose name is rightly glorified by us; O God who subdue every harmful working; O God whose will is accomplished, who always hear us: now too let your gift be accomplished on this young man; and if any dispensation is to come about through him, show it to us when he has been raised." And at once the young man rose, and kept silent for a whole hour.

And when he had come to his senses, John asked him what his entry into the tomb had meant; and learning from him what Andronicus had told him, that he had indeed been in love with Drusiana, John asked him again whether he had accomplished his foul purpose, to outrage remains full of holiness. And he answered him: "How could I have done this, when this terrible creature struck down Fortunatus with a single blow before my eyes (and rightly, since he was egging me on to such madness when I had already ceased from that unseasonable and terrible madness), but stopped me with fear and made me as you saw me before I was raised? But I will tell you another, more wonderful thing, which all but killed me and made me a dead man. When my soul was given over to that thought and the uncontrollable disease was troubling me, when I had already stripped off the grave-clothes in which she was dressed, and had come away from the grave and laid them down as you see, I went back to the abominable deed; and I see a beautiful young man covering her with his own cloak, from whose face rays of light went out to her face; and he also spoke to me, saying: 'Callimachus, die that you may live.' Who he was I did not know, servant of God; but now that you have appeared here, I know well that he was an angel of God; and this I truly know, that a true God is proclaimed by you, and of this I am persuaded. But I too beseech you not to neglect to free me from such a calamity and such terrible daring, and to present to your God a man deceived by a shameful and loathsome deceit. So, asking for help from you, I take hold of your feet. I want to become one of those who hope in Christ, so that the voice too may prove true that said to me here, 'Die that you may live'; and it has already accomplished its working; for that faithless, disorderly, godless man has died, and I have been raised by you, I who am to be faithful, God-fearing, knowing the truth, which I beg may be made known to me by you." [77] And John, seized with great gladness and understanding the whole spectacle of the man's salvation, said: "What your power is, Lord Jesus Christ, I do not know; I am at a loss before your great compassion and boundless long-suffering. O what greatness has come down into servitude! O unspeakable freedom brought into slavery by us! O incomprehensible glory of ours! You who have kept even the house of the dead from outrage; redeemer of the man who had stained himself with blood, and chastener of him who would corrupt bodies; Father, who had mercy and compassion on the man who disregarded you: we glorify you and praise and bless and thank your great goodness and long-suffering, holy Jesus; for you alone are God, and no other; yours is the power that no plot can touch, now and for all ages of ages. Amen."

And having said this, John took hold of Callimachus and kissed him, saying: "Glory to our God, child, who had mercy on you and counted me worthy to glorify his power, and counted you worthy too, by a wise way, to be brought out of that madness and drunkenness of yours, and called you to his own rest and to renewal of life."

And Andronicus, seeing Callimachus raised from the dead, begged John together with the brothers to raise Drusiana too, saying: "John, let her rise and complete happily the short span which Drusiana gave up in grief over Callimachus, thinking that she had become a stumbling-block to him; and whenever the Lord wills, he will take her to himself." And John, without delay, went to her grave and, taking her by the hand, said: "I call upon you who alone are God, the exceedingly great, the unspeakable, the incomprehensible; to whom every ruling power is subjected; to whom every authority has bowed; before whom all arrogance falls down and is silent; at whose name demons shudder when they hear it; whom the whole creation perceives and keeps within bounds: let your name be glorified by us, and raise Drusiana, so that Callimachus may be still more strengthened in you, who have arranged what for men is beyond reach and impossible, salvation and resurrection, but for you alone is possible; and that Drusiana may come to you at rest, now that the young man has turned, bringing with her not the least hindrance."

And having said this, John said to Drusiana: "Drusiana, arise." And she arose and came out of the grave; and seeing herself in her shift only, she was perplexed at the matter; and learning everything exactly from Andronicus, while John lay on his face and Callimachus with voice and tears glorified God, she too rejoiced, and likewise glorified him.

And when she had dressed, she turned and saw Fortunatus lying there; and she says to John: "Father, let this man too rise, even though he tried hard to become my betrayer." And Callimachus, hearing her say this, said: "No, I beg you, Drusiana; for the voice which I heard took no thought for him, but spoke about you alone; and I saw and believed. For if he were good, God would perhaps have had mercy on him too and raised him through the blessed John; he judged, then, that the man deserved to die an evil death." And John said to him: "We have not learned, child, to return evil for evil. For God too, though we did much evil and no good toward him, did not repay us with retribution but with repentance; and when we did not know his name he did not neglect us but had mercy; and when we blasphemed he did not punish us but had compassion; and when we disbelieved he bore no grudge; and when we persecuted his brothers he did not repay us, but putting repentance and abstinence from evils into our minds, he called us too to himself, as he did you, child Callimachus; and not remembering your former deeds, he made you his servant, waiting upon his mercy. So if you will not have Fortunatus raised, it is for Drusiana to do it."

And she, without delay, in gladness of spirit and soul, went up to Fortunatus's body and said: "God of the ages, Jesus Christ, God of truth, who granted me to see wonders and signs, who gave me to become a sharer in your name; who breathed yourself into me with your many-formed face and had mercy on me in every way; who covered me with your great goodness when I was being forced by Andronicus, my former husband; who gave me your servant Andronicus as a brother; who kept me, your handmaid, pure until now; who raised me when I had died, through your servant John, who does glorious and extraordinary things beyond all comparison; who, when I had been raised, showed me the one who had been caused to stumble now free of stumbling; who gave me perfect rest in you and relieved me of the hidden madness; whom I have loved and cherished: I beg you, Christ, do not turn away your Drusiana, who asks you that Fortunatus may rise, even though he tried hard to become my betrayer."

And taking the dead man's hand she said: "Rise, Fortunatus, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." And Fortunatus rose, and seeing John in the tomb, and Andronicus, and Drusiana raised from the dead, and Callimachus now a believer, and the other brothers glorifying God, he said: "How far the powers of these terrible men have reached! I did not want to be raised, but rather to stay dead, so as not to see them." And having said this he fled and went out of the tomb.

And John, seeing the unchangeable soul of Fortunatus, said: "O nature that is not overthrown in favour of the better! O fountain of a soul that remains in filth! O substance of corruption full of darkness! O death dancing among your own! O fruitless tree full of fire! O wood bearing coals for fruit! O matter dwelling with the madness of matter, and neighbour of unbelief! You have shown who you are, and you are always shown up with your children; and the power to glorify the better you do not know, for you do not have it. Therefore, as is your way, so is your root and your nature. Be done away from those who hope in the Lord: from their thoughts, from their mind, from their souls, from their bodies, from their action, from their life, from their conduct, from destruction, from their pursuit, from their counsel, from the resurrection to God, from the fragrance which you are to share, from fasts, from prayers, from the holy washing, from the eucharist, from the food of the flesh, from drink, from clothing, from love, from burial, from self-control, from righteousness: from all these, most unholy one and enemy of God, Satan, Jesus Christ our God will do you away, and those like you, who have your character."

And having said this, John prayed, and taking bread he brought it into the tomb to break it, and said: "We glorify your name, which turns us from error and pitiless deceit; we glorify you who showed before our eyes what we have seen; we bear witness to your goodness, shown in manifold appearances; we praise your good name, Lord, who have convicted those who are convicted by you; we thank you, Lord Jesus Christ, that we are persuaded that it is unchangeable; we thank you, who had need of a nature, of the nature that is being saved; we thank you, who have given us this unshakeable assurance that you alone are, both now and ever; we your servants give you thanks, who are gathered together with good cause and are gathered out, O holy one."

And having prayed thus and given glory, he went out of the tomb, having shared with all the brothers the eucharist of the Lord; and when he came to Andronicus's house he said to the brothers: "Brothers, a spirit in me has divined that Fortunatus is about to die of the blackening from the serpent's bite; but let someone go quickly and learn whether it is so." And one of the young men ran and found him already dead, and the blackening spreading and having reached his heart; and he came back and reported to John that he had been dead three hours. And John said: "You have your child, devil."

So those present asked the reason, and were especially perplexed because Drusiana had said: "The Lord appeared to me in the tomb as John and as a young man." So since they were perplexed and in a manner not yet firmly established in the faith, John, bearing with them patiently, said:

"Men and brothers, you have suffered nothing strange or incredible in your perception of the Lord, since we too, whom he chose for himself as apostles, were tried in many ways. I, for my part, am able neither to speak nor to write to you the things I saw and heard. And now I must adapt myself to your hearing, and according to what each of you can contain I will share with you those things of which you can be hearers, so that you may see the glory around him, which was and is, both now and for ever. For when he had chosen Peter and Andrew, who were brothers, he comes to me and to my brother James, saying: 'I need you; come to me.' And … [89] … And he appeared to me also as a small man, uncomely, and then as one looking up wholly toward heaven. He had also another marvel: when I reclined at table he would take me upon his own breast, and I held him close; and sometimes his breast felt to me smooth and soft, and sometimes hard, like rocks, so that I was perplexed within myself and said: 'What is this?' … And as I was thinking this, he … [90] At another time he takes me and James and Peter to the mountain where he was accustomed to pray, and we saw on him such a light as it is not possible for a man who uses corruptible speech to express, what it was like. Again likewise he leads the three of us up the mountain, saying: 'Come with me.' And we went again; and we see him praying at a distance. And I, since he loved me, quietly drew near to him, as though he did not see, and stood looking at his back; and I see that he was not dressed in garments at all, but was seen by us as naked, and not at all as a man; and his feet were whiter than any snow, so that the ground there was lit up by his feet; and his head reached up to heaven; so that I was afraid and cried out; and he, turning, appeared as a small man, and took hold of my beard and pulled it, and said to me: 'John, do not be unbelieving but believing, and not curious.' And I said to him: 'What have I done, Lord?' And I tell you, brothers, I suffered such pain for thirty days in the place where he had taken hold of my beard that I said to him: 'Lord, if the tug you gave in play caused such pain, what if you had given me blows?' And he said to me: 'Let it be yours from now on not to tempt the one who cannot be tempted.'

But Peter and James were annoyed because I was talking with the Lord, and they beckoned me to come to them, leaving the Lord alone. And I went, and both of them said to me: "The one who was talking with the Lord on the height, who was he? For we heard both of them speaking." And I, considering his great grace and his unity of many faces and his unceasing wisdom that looks upon us, said: "You will learn this if you ask him." [92] Again, once when all of us his disciples were sleeping in one house at Gennesaret, I alone, having wrapped myself in my cloak, watched what he was doing; and first I heard him saying: "John, sleep." And then, pretending to be asleep, I saw another like him, whom I also heard saying to my Lord: "Jesus, those whom you chose still disbelieve you." And my Lord said to him: "You speak well; for they are men."

Another glory I will tell you, brothers: sometimes, when I wished to take hold of him, I met with a material and solid body; and at other times again, when I felt him, the substance was immaterial and bodiless, as if it did not exist at all. And if ever he was invited by one of the Pharisees and went to the invitation, we went with him; and before each of us one loaf was set by those who had invited us, and he too received one; but his own he blessed and divided among us; and from that little each was filled, and our own loaves were kept whole, so that those who had invited him were amazed. And often, when I walked with him, I wished to see whether his footprint appeared on the ground; for I saw him lifting himself from the earth; and I never saw it. And I tell you these things, brothers, still to encourage your faith in him; for his mighty and wonderful deeds must for the present be kept in silence, since they are unspeakable and perhaps can be neither uttered nor heard. [94] But before he was arrested by the lawless Jews, who were given their law by a lawless serpent, he gathered us all and said: "Before I am handed over to them, let us sing a hymn to the Father, and so go out to what lies before us." So he told us to make a kind of ring, holding one another's hands, and he himself stood in the middle and said: "Answer Amen to me." So he began to sing a hymn and to say: "Glory to you, Father." And we, going round in a ring, answered him: "Amen." "Glory to you, Word; glory to you, Grace." "Amen." "Glory to you, Spirit; glory to you, Holy One; glory to your glory." "Amen." "We praise you, Father; we give thanks to you, Light, in whom darkness does not dwell." "Amen."

"And for what we give thanks, I say: I wish to be saved, and I wish to save. Amen. I wish to be set free, and I wish to set free. Amen. I wish to be wounded, and I wish to wound. Amen. I wish to be begotten, and I wish to beget. Amen. I wish to eat, and I wish to be eaten. Amen. I wish to hear, and I wish to be heard. Amen. I wish to be understood, being wholly understanding. Amen. I wish to be washed, and I wish to wash. Amen. Grace dances. I wish to play the pipe; dance, all of you. Amen. I wish to mourn; beat your breasts, all of you. Amen. The one Ogdoad sings with us. Amen. The twelfth number dances on high. Amen. To the whole on high belongs the dancing. Amen. He who does not dance does not know what is coming to pass. Amen. I wish to flee, and I wish to stay. Amen. I wish to adorn, and I wish to be adorned. Amen. I wish to be united, and I wish to unite. Amen. I have no house, and I have houses. Amen. I have no place, and I have places. Amen. I have no temple, and I have temples. Amen. I am a lamp to you who see me. Amen. I am a mirror to you who perceive me. Amen. I am a door to you who knock at me. Amen. I am a way to you, wayfarer.

Now respond to my dancing. See yourself in me who am speaking, and when you have seen what I do, keep silent about my mysteries. You who dance, perceive what I do, for yours is this passion of man which I am about to suffer. For you could not at all have understood what you suffer if I had not been sent to you as Word by the Father. You who saw what I suffer saw it as one suffering, and seeing it you did not stand still but were wholly moved; moved to become wise, you have me for a support; rest upon me. Who I am, you will know when I go away. What I am now seen to be, that I am not; … when you come. If you had known how to suffer, you would have been able not to suffer. Learn to suffer, and you will be able not to suffer. What you do not know, I myself will teach you. I am your God, not the betrayer's. I wish to be kept in tune with holy souls. Know the word of wisdom. Say to me again: Glory to you, Father; glory to you, Word; glory to you, Holy Spirit. And as for me, if you wish to know what I was: with a word I once mocked all things, and I was not put to shame at all. I leapt; but do you understand the whole, and having understood, say: Glory to you, Father. Amen." [97] Having danced these things with us, beloved, the Lord went out; and we, as though led astray or fallen asleep, fled this way and that. I, then, when I saw him suffer, did not even stay by his suffering, but fled to the Mount of Olives, weeping over what had happened. And when he was hung on the cross on Friday, at the sixth hour of the day, darkness came over the whole earth. And my Lord stood in the middle of the cave and lit it up, and said: "John, to the crowd below in Jerusalem I am being crucified and pierced with lances and reeds, and given vinegar and gall to drink. But to you I am speaking, and listen to what I say. I put it into your mind to come up to this mountain, so that you might hear what a disciple must learn from a teacher, and a man from God." [98] And having said this he showed me a cross of light set up, and around the cross a great crowd, having no one form; and in it there was one form and a like appearance. … [99] … But the crowd of one form around the cross is the lower nature. [100] And as for those whom you see in the cross, if they do not yet have one form, not yet has every member of him who came down been gathered together. But when the nature of man is taken up, and a race that comes to me obeying my voice, he who now hears me will be united with it, and will no longer be what he now is, but above them, as I am now. For as long as you do not call yourself mine, I am not what I am; but if you hear me, you too as a hearer will be as I am, and I shall be what I was, when I have you as I am with myself; for from me you are this. Do not care, then, for the many, and despise those who are outside the mystery; for know that I am wholly with the Father, and the Father with me.