On the Bill of Divorce (on 1 Cor 7:39) (complete)

“A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if he falls asleep, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is more blessed if she remains as she is.” 1. Recently the blessed Paul was legislating for us about marriage and the rights of marriage, writing thus to the Corinthians: “Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman; but because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” That is why we too spent our whole discourse on these words. So it is necessary today too to speak to you again about the same subject, since today too the same Paul speaks about the same things. For you heard him crying out and saying: “A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if her husband falls asleep, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is more blessed if she remains as she is, in my judgment; and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.” Let us follow him, then, today too, and discuss this subject; for in following Paul we shall surely follow Christ through him, since he too wrote everything following not himself but Christ. For marriage, when it is well ordered, is no ordinary thing, just as it becomes the occasion of countless misfortunes to those who do not use it as they should. For as the wife is a helper, so she often becomes a plotter too. As marriage is a harbour, so it is also a shipwreck, not by its own nature, but by the will of those who use it badly. He who conducts it according to its proper laws finds in his house and his wife a consolation and a release from the evils of the marketplace and of every place; but he who handles the thing carelessly and at random, even if he enjoys much calm in the marketplace, will see reefs and rocks when he comes into his house. Since, then, the danger before us concerns no ordinary things, it is necessary to attend to what is said with exactness, and that one who is going to take a wife should do so with the laws of Paul, or rather with the laws of Christ. Now I know that what is said seems new and paradoxical to many; nevertheless I will not be silent for that reason, but will first read you the law and then try to resolve the apparent contradiction. What, then, is the law that Paul has laid down for us? “A wife,” he says, “is bound by law.” Therefore she must not split off while her husband is alive, nor bring in another bridegroom, nor have to do with a second marriage. And see how exactly he uses the very nature of the words. He did not say, “Let her live with her husband for as long as he lives,” but what? “A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives”; so that even if he gives her a certificate of divorce, and she leaves the house, and even if she goes off to another man, she is bound by the law, and such a woman is an adulteress. If, then, a husband wishes to cast out his wife, or a wife to leave her husband, let her remember this saying, and think that Paul is present and pursuing her, crying out and saying: “A wife is bound by law.” For just as runaway slaves, even if they leave their master's house, have the chain dragging behind them, so wives too, even if they [leave] their husbands, … [the law, as] a chain, condemning them, accusing them of adultery, accusing those who take them, and saying: “The husband is still living, and what is done is adultery.” “For a wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives.” And “everyone who marries a woman who has been put away commits adultery.” “And when,” someone says, “will it be lawful for her to have to do with a second marriage?” When? When she is released from the chain, when her husband dies. To show this, at any rate, he did not add, “if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes,” but “if he falls asleep,” as though consoling the widow and persuading her to remain with the first and not bring in a second bridegroom. Your husband has not died, but sleeps. Who does not wait for one who is sleeping? That is why he says, “But if he falls asleep, she is free to be married to whom she wishes.” He did not … he neither prevented her if she wished to have to do with a second marriage, nor urged her if she did not wish it, but read out the law, saying, “She is free to be married to whom she wishes.” And by saying that she has become free after her husband's death, he showed that before this, while he was alive, she was a slave; and being a slave and subject to the law, even if she receives a certificate of divorce ten thousand times, she is caught by the law of adultery. Servants may change masters while their masters are living; but a wife may not change husbands while her husband is living, for the thing is adultery. Do not read me the laws laid down by those outside, which bid one give a certificate of divorce and depart. For God will not judge you on that day according to these laws, but according to those he himself laid down. And the laws of those outside did not lay this down simply or as their chief aim, but they too punish the thing, so that it is shown from this very fact that they view this sin with displeasure. At any rate, they cast out the woman who is the cause of the divorce naked and stripped of property, and whoever is the source of the pretext for the dissolution they punish with loss of property; they would not have done this if they approved of what happens.

Why, then, did Moses [permit it]? He did both this and that for the same reason. But you, hear Christ saying: “Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Hear him again saying: “He who puts away his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and he who marries a woman who has been put away commits adultery.” That is why the only-begotten Son of God came, that is why he took the form of a slave, why he poured out his precious blood, destroyed death, quenched sin, and gave a more abundant grace of the Spirit: to lead you to a higher wisdom. Besides, not even Moses legislated this as his chief aim, but … weakness. For since they were ready for murders, filled their houses with the blood of kin, and spared neither their own nor strangers, he ordered them to cast out the wives they found disagreeable, so that they would not slaughter them inside, removing the greater evil, their readiness to slaughter. That some of them were murderous, hear the prophets themselves saying: “You who build Zion with blood, and with iniquities”; and again, “They mingle blood with blood”; and again, “Your hands are full of blood.” And that they raged not only against strangers but also against their own, the prophet showed when he said: “And they sacrificed their sons and their daughters to demons.” Those who did not spare their own children would not have spared their wives. So that this would not happen, he permitted this. That is why Christ too, when the Jews asked him, “How did Moses permit giving a certificate of divorce?”, showing that he did not write this in opposition to him, speaks somewhat as follows: “Moses said this because of your hardness of heart, but from the beginning it was not so; but he who made them from the beginning made them male and female.” If this were good, he says, he would not have made one man and one woman; but having made the one Adam, he would have made two women, if indeed he wished him to cast out the one and bring in the other; but as it is, by the manner of creation he introduced the law which I now write. What law is this? That a man should keep for always the wife allotted to him from the beginning. This law is older than that one, and by as much as Adam is older than Moses. So I am not innovating now, nor bringing in strange doctrines, but ones older and more ancient than Moses. But it is worth hearing the very law of Moses that he laid down about this. “If anyone takes a wife,” he says, “and lives with her, and it happens that she does not find favour in his sight, because he has found in her a shameful thing, … into her hands.” See: he did not say, “Let him write and give,” but what? “He shall write her a certificate of divorce and give it into her hands.” There is a great difference between the one and the other: the one is [the language] of one who commands; but to say, “He shall write a certificate of divorce and give it into her hands,” is [the language] of one who reports what happens, not of one who introduces the law on his own account. “If, then,” he says, “someone casts out his wife and sends her away from his house, and she goes off and becomes another man's, and the last husband also hates her, and writes her [a certificate] of divorce, and gives it into her hands, and sends her away from his house, or her husband who took her to himself as wife dies, the former husband [who sent her away] will not be able to turn back and take her to himself as wife.” Then, showing that he does not approve of what happened, nor think it a marriage, but condescends because of their weakness, having said, “The former husband will not be able to take her to himself as wife,” he added, “after she has been defiled,” indicating by the manner of expression that the second marriage, entered into while the first husband is living, is a defilement rather than a marriage. That is why he did not say, “after she has been married.” Do you see that he speaks in harmony with Christ? Then he added the reason too: “because it is an abomination before God.” So Moses; but the prophet Malachi shows this very thing much more clearly than Moses, or rather not Malachi, but God through Malachi, speaking thus: “Is it worth looking upon your sacrifices, or receiving anything acceptable from your hands?” Then, when they said, “For what reason?”, he says, “Because you have forsaken the wife of your youth.” And showing how great an evil it is, and depriving the one who has done it of every pardon, he increases the charge by what follows, adding and saying: “And she is your partner, and the wife of your covenant, and the remnant of your spirit, and no other made her.” See how many claims he sets out: first, that of age: “the wife of your youth”; then the bond of necessity: “and she is your partner”; then the manner of creation,

And besides all these, what is greater than all of them: the dignity of the Maker. For this is the meaning of “and no other made her.” You cannot say, he says, that God made you but did not make her, that someone else, inferior to him, made her; one and the same brought both into being; so that, if nothing else, at least out of reverence for this, guard your love for her. For if among slaves quarrelling with one another this has often become a ground [of reconciliation], I mean that both must serve one and the same master, much more ought this to be so with us, when both of us have the same Creator and Master. Have you seen how even in the Old [Testament] the commands of the new wisdom were already taking their beginnings and preludes? For since they had been brought up for a long time in the law and were bound to journey toward more perfect precepts, and their way of life was now approaching its goal, the prophet, at the fitting time, now leads them to this wisdom. [Let us obey], then, this good law, and free ourselves from all shame, and let us neither cast out our own wives nor receive those cast out by others. With what face will you look at the woman's husband? With what eyes at his friends, his servants? For if someone who took a man's wife after he had died, and then saw only his portrait set up, felt something and was distressed, as though he saw alive the husband of the woman living with him, what sort of life will this man live? How will he enter his house? With what mind, with what eyes will he see the other man's wife as his own? Or rather, one could not rightly call such a woman either that man's or his; for the adulteress is no one's wife. She trampled on her covenant with him, and she did not come to you with the fitting laws. What madness would it not be to bring into the house a thing full of so many evils? Is there a shortage of women? Why, when there are many whom it is lawful to take with the fitting laws and with a clean conscience, do we run to the forbidden ones, overturning households, bringing in civil wars, preparing enmity for ourselves on every side, opening the mouths of countless accusers, disgracing our own life, and, worst of all, gathering for ourselves an inescapable punishment on the day of judgment? For what shall we say then to the one who will judge us, when he brings the law into the midst, reads it, and says: “I commanded you not to take a woman who has been put away, saying that the thing is adultery. How, then, did you dare to enter a forbidden marriage?” What shall we say, and what shall we answer? For one cannot put forward there the laws laid down by those outside; we must be led away, silent and bound, into the fire of Gehenna with the adulterers and with those who have wronged the marriages of others. For both the one who puts away [his wife] without the cause of sexual immorality and the one who marries a woman who has been cast out while her husband is living [are punished] alike with the woman who was cast out. Therefore I urge, beg, and entreat that neither husbands cast out wives nor wives leave husbands, but that they listen to Paul saying: “A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband falls asleep, she is free to be married [to whom she wishes], only in the Lord.” For what pardon could they have who, when Paul permits even a second marriage after the death of the spouse and gives so much freedom, dare to do this before the death? What defence would they find, either those who take wives while their husbands are living, or those who go off to public prostitutes? For this too is another form of adultery: that a man who has a wife at home should consort with prostitutes. For just as a woman who has a husband, if she gives herself to a servant or to some free man who has no wife, is caught by the laws of adultery, so also a husband, if he sins with a public prostitute or with another woman who has no husband while he has a wife, the thing is held to be adultery. Let us flee, then, this form of adultery too. For what shall we be able to say? What pretext shall we offer? The desire of nature? But the wife allotted to us stands there, depriving us of this defence. That is why marriage was introduced, so that you may not commit sexual immorality. Or rather, not only the wife, but many others who share the same nature with us deprive us of this pardon. For when your fellow servant, with the same body, possessing the same desire, driven by the same necessity, looks at no other woman, but remains loving his own alone, what defence will you have when you put forward desire? And why do I speak of those who have wives? Consider those who live all their life in virginity, who have had nothing at all to do with marriage, and have shown great chastity. When others are chaste without marriage, what pardon will you obtain if you commit sexual immorality after marriage? Let husbands and wives hear this, and widows and married women; for Paul speaks to all, and so does this law which says: “A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if he falls asleep, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” This word is useful to those who have husbands and to those who do not, to those who remain widows and to those who bring in a second bridegroom, and to all simply. For she who has a husband will not choose to become another's while he lives, having heard that she is bound while he lives; and she who has lost him, if she wishes to have to do with a second marriage, does this not carelessly or at random, but with the laws laid down by Paul, who said: “She is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord,” that is, with chastity, with decency. But if she chooses to keep her covenant with the departed, she will hear of the crowns laid up for her and will receive greater eagerness. “For she is more blessed,” he says, “if she remains as she is.”

Do you see how the word is useful to all, both condescending to the weakness of the former and not depriving the latter of their proper praise? For what he did in the case of marriage and virginity, he did also in the case of the first and the second marriage. Just as there he did not exclude marriage, so as not to burden the weaker, nor impose necessity, so as not to deprive those who wish to remain virgins of the crowns laid up for them, but showed that marriage is good and made clear that virginity is better, so here too he again sets other grades before us, showing that widowhood is greater and higher, and second marriage second and lower, anointing the stronger who do not wish to leap across [to another marriage], and not letting the weaker fall. For having said, “But she is more blessed if she remains as she is,” so that you would not think the law human when you hear “in my judgment,” he added: “And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.” You cannot say, then, that the judgment is human: it is the decision of the grace of the Spirit, and the law is divine. Let us not, then, think that it is Paul saying these things, but the Paraclete legislating them for us. And if he says “I think,” he says it not as one who does not have [the Spirit], but in moderation and humility. That she is more blessed, he said; how she is more blessed, he did not add, giving as sufficient proof that he brings the decision from the Spirit. But if you wish to examine it by reasoning too, you will find here a great abundance of proofs, and you will see that the widow is more blessed not only in the age to come but also in the present life. And Paul knows this very thing best, which he also hinted at concerning virgins. For when he exhorted and counselled them to choose virginity, he spoke somewhat like this: “I think that it is good for a person to be so, because of the present necessity”; and again, “And if the virgin marries, she has not sinned,” calling “virgin” here not the woman who has renounced marriage, but only one inexperienced in marriage, who has not made herself liable by a promise of perpetual virginity. “But such will have trouble in the flesh, and I spare you.” In this bare phrase he left everything to the conscience of the hearers: birth pangs, the rearing of children, anxiety, illnesses, untimely deaths, enmities, rivalries, serving countless wills, being answerable for others' faults, taking on countless griefs while having one soul. But the woman who has chosen continence is freed from all these evils, and besides release from the distresses has a great reward laid up for her in the life to come. Knowing all this, then, let us be eager to be content with first marriages. But if we prepare to enter on second ones too, [let it be] in the fitting manner and form, with the laws of God. For that is why he said, “She is free to be married to whom she wishes,” and added, “only in the Lord,” at once granting freedom and walling the freedom in, giving liberty and again setting bounds and laws to this liberty on every side: for instance, that the woman should not bring into the house foul and corrupt men, or men from the stage, or men given to sexual immorality, but [marry] with decency, with chastity. For since many women often brought in the later husbands … of the first, and devised other foul ways, he therefore added, “only in the Lord,” so that the second marriage might have none of these things; for so it will be able to be free from charges. … it is better to wait for the one who has died, to keep the covenant with him, to choose continence, to remain with the children left behind, and to draw more goodwill from God. But if someone wishes to bring in a second bridegroom, [let it be] with chastity, with decency, with the fitting laws; for this too is permitted; only sexual immorality and adultery are forbidden. Let us flee this, then, both those who have wives and those who do not; and let us not disgrace our life, nor live a laughable life, nor defile the body, nor bring an evil conscience into the mind. For how will you be able to come into church after consorting with prostitutes? How stretch out to heaven the hands with which you embraced the prostitute? How move your tongue and call [on God] with this mouth, with which you kissed the prostitute? With what eyes will you look at the more decent of your friends? And why do I speak of friends? Even if no one shares the knowledge, you yourself will be compelled before all others to blush and be ashamed, and more than all to loathe your own body. If this were not so, why do you run to the bath after that sin? Is it not because you think yourself more unclean than any filth? What greater proof do you seek of the uncleanness of what was done, or what verdict do you expect God to give, when you, the offender, have such an opinion of what was done? That such people think themselves unclean, I strongly praise and approve; but that they do not come to the fitting manner of purification, for this I accuse and blame them. If the filth were bodily, you would reasonably scrub yourself in the baths; but since you have soiled the soul and made it unclean, seek a purification that can scrub off its stain. And what is the bath for such a sin? Hot springs of tears, groans rising from deep in the heart, continual compunction, earnest prayers, almsgiving, and abundant almsgiving, condemning what was done, and no longer attempting the same things. So the nature of sin is scrubbed away, so the soul's filth is cleansed; so that if we do not do such things, even if we go through all the springs of the rivers, we shall not be able to remove even a small part of this sin. It is better, then, never again to make trial of this foul sin. But if someone has ever been tripped up, let him apply these remedies, first promising never again to fall into the same things. For if when we sin we condemn what has been done but again attempt the same things, the purifications will be of no use to us. One who washes himself and rolls in the same [mire] again, and one who pulls down again what he built, and builds again in order to pull it down, gains nothing more than doing what is superfluous and toiling in vain. Let us too, then, so as not to spend our life idly and in vain, cleanse away our former sins and spend the whole rest of our life in chastity and decency and the rest of virtue, so that we may … God and obtain the kingdom of heaven … of Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever.