Homilies on Acts 44.1–44.4

“And from Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called [the elders of the church]. And when they came to him, he said to them: ‘You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time from the first day that I set foot in Asia, serving the Lord with you with all humility and with many tears and trials that happened to me through the plots of the Jews; how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.’” See him, though hastening to sail past, not overlooking them, but arranging everything. He sends for the leaders, and goes through what is said in their presence. And it is worth wondering how, having fallen under the necessity of saying great things about himself, he tries to be moderate. For just as Samuel, about to hand over the rule to Saul, says in their presence, “Have I taken anything from you? You are witnesses, and God”; and David, when disbelieved, says, “I was in the flock, shepherding my father’s sheep, and when the bear came, I drove it off with my hands”; and Paul himself says to the Corinthians, “I have become a fool; you compelled me”; and God too does this very thing, not speaking of himself idly, but when he is disbelieved he brings forward his benefits as well. See then what he does here too: first he brings forward their own testimony, so that you may not think the words a boast, and he calls the hearers themselves as witnesses of what is said, as one who would not lie in their presence. This is a teacher’s excellence, when he has as witnesses of his own achievements those who are being taught. And the wonderful thing is that he kept doing this not for one day or two, but for a great number of years. “For you know,” he says, “how I lived among you the whole time.” He wants, then, to encourage them to bear everything nobly, both his separation from them and the trials that were going to happen, as happened also in the case of Moses and Joshua. And see what he added, saying, “How I lived among you the whole time, serving the Lord with all humility.” See what most befits rulers: “hating pride,” it says; which most befits rulers because they are necessarily lifted up toward arrogance. This is the foundation of good things, as Christ too said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” And he did not simply say “with humility,” but “with all humility.” For there are many kinds of humility; and one can see humility in word, in deed, toward rulers, toward the ruled. Do you want me to tell you the ways of humility? There are some who are humble toward the humble, and lofty toward the lofty; this is not humility. And there are others again not like this, but who in the case of both sorts of persons keep both the humble and the lofty for the right occasion; and this above all is humility. Being about to teach them such things, then, so that he might not seem arrogant, he lays a foundation beforehand, removing the suspicion. For if I have lived with all humility, he says, I do not say what I say from arrogance. Then his gentleness: “I lived among you,” he says, “serving the Lord,” showing them to be partners in the achievement. So everywhere partnership is a fine thing. He makes the achievements common, then, and sets nothing of his own apart. “For what?” someone says. “Could he be arrogant against God?” And yet there are many who are arrogant against him; but this man was not arrogant even toward his own disciples. This is a teacher’s achievement: to shape his disciples by his own achievements. Then his courage, which he also cuts short: “With many tears and trials that happened to me through the plots of the Jews.” Do you see that he grieves at what happens? But here he seems to show also his compassion; for he suffered for those who were perishing, for those very men who did these things; since for what was done against himself he even rejoiced; for he belonged to that company who rejoiced that they had been counted worthy to be dishonored for his name. And again elsewhere he says, “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for you”; and again, “For the momentary … an eternal weight of glory works for us.” But these things he says in moderation. Here he shows his courage, and not so much his courage as his endurance; as if he said, “I suffered ill, but with you; and the terrible thing is, at the hands of Jews.” Look here at the stamp of his teaching: he sets down both his love and his courage. “How I did not shrink from anything,” he says. By these words he shows at once his freedom from envy and his freedom from sloth. “Anything that was profitable.” Rightly did he speak so; for there were things they ought not to learn. And as hiding something is the mark of envy, so saying everything is the mark of folly. That is why he added “that was profitable,” showing that I not only spoke but also taught; not, he says, as discharging this as a formality. And that this is what he means, hear what follows; for he added, “in public and from house to house,” showing his long toil, his great zeal and his endurance. “Testifying both to Jews and to Greeks.” Not to you only, he says, but also to Greeks. Here is boldness; and that one must speak even if we do no good; for this is what testifying is, when we speak to those who do not attend; for testifying is, for the most part, this. “I call heaven and earth to witness,” says Moses; and now he himself: “testifying both to Jews and to Greeks repentance toward God.”

What do you testify? That they should take care of their life; that they should repent and come to God. For the Jews did not know him either, both because they were ignorant of the Son, and because of their works, and because they did not have faith in the Lord Jesus. Why then do you say these things? Why do you remind us of them? What has happened? Do you have some charge to bring? Having first shaken their mind, he then adds: “And now, see, I am going to Jerusalem, bound in the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions await me. But I make no account of anything, nor do I hold my life precious to myself, so that I may finish my course with joy, and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Why does he say these things? Preparing them always to be ready for dangers, both known and unknown, and to obey the Spirit in everything. And he shows that he is being led away for great things. “Except that the Holy Spirit,” he says, “testifies to me in every city, saying.” To show that he goes willingly, and so that you might not think it bonds or necessity, he said “in every city.” Then he adds: “I do not hold my life precious, so that I may finish my course with joy, and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus.” Do you see that the words are not those of one lamenting, but of one speaking with moderation and teaching them and sharing their feelings about what was happening? He did not say, “We grieve, but we must bear it”; but not even, “I consider.” This again he says not exalting himself, but teaching them: by the earlier words humility, and by these courage and boldness; as if he said, I do not love my life more than this; I count it more precious to finish the course, to testify. And he did not say, “to preach,” “to teach,” but what? “To testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” He is about to say something more burdensome: “I am clean of the blood of all.” That is why he prepares the way beforehand, and shows that nothing is lacking. Since, then, he was about to lay the whole weight and burden on them, he first softened their mind, saying, “And now, see, I know that you will no longer see my face.” Then he brought out the words, “I am clean of the blood of all.” The grief was then double: that they would no longer see his face, and that this was said to them all. “For you will no longer see my face,” he says, “all of you among whom I went about preaching the kingdom. Therefore I testify to you” (with reason, since I will no longer be present) “that I am clean of the blood of all. For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.” Do you see how he frightens them, though their souls were worn out and afflicted? Rightly, for it was necessary. “For I did not shrink,” he says, “from declaring to you the whole counsel of God.” So the one who does not speak is answerable for the blood, that is, for the slaughter. Nothing is more fearful than this. He shows that they too, if they do not do it, are answerable for the blood. And he seems to be making his own defense, but he is frightening them. “Take heed, then, to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.” Do you see? He gave two commands. For neither does setting others right alone bring any gain (“For I fear,” he says, “lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified”), nor does taking care of oneself alone. For such a man is a lover of self and seeks only his own, and is like the one who buried the talent. He says this not because our salvation is more precious than the flock’s, but because when we take heed to ourselves, then the flock too gains. “In which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God.” See how many necessities! You have your ordination from the Spirit, he says; for this is what “has made” means. This is one necessity; then, “to shepherd the church of God”: see, a second too; and a third, “which,” he says, “he obtained with his own blood.” By what he said he shows that the matter is very precious, and that the danger is not over small things, if the Master did not spare even his own blood for the church, while we despise the salvation of our brothers. And he poured out his blood to reconcile enemies, while you cannot even hold on to those who have become friends. “For I know this, that after my departure fierce [wolves] will come in among you, not sparing the flock.” Again he turns them from another quarter, from what is to come; as when he says elsewhere, “Our struggle is not against blood and flesh.” “That after my departure,” he says, “fierce wolves will come in among you.” The evil is double: that he himself is not present, and that others will attack. “Why then do you go away, if you foresee this?” The Spirit draws me, he says. [3] And see: he did not simply say “wolves,” but added “fierce,” hinting at their violence and recklessness; and what is worse, he says that these very men will rise up from among them; which is very grievous, when the war is also civil war. And he rightly said, “Take heed,” showing that the matter needs great care (for it is the church), and that the danger is great (for he redeemed it with blood), and that the war is great and double. These things, then, he made plain when he said, “And from among your own selves men will arise speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them.” Then, since he had frightened them greatly by speaking of fierce wolves, and of those speaking perverse things arising from among them, as though someone were at a loss and asked, “How then? And what guard will there be?”, he adds, saying, “Be watchful, [remembering that for three years night and day I did not] cease to admonish each one with tears.” See how many superlatives: with tears, and night and day, and each one. For he did not spare himself because he saw many, but knew how to do everything even for one soul. So, at any rate, he knit them together. What he means is this: what I have done is enough; I stayed three years; they have been sufficiently strengthened, sufficiently rooted. “With tears,” he says. Do you see that the tears were for this? Let us too do these things. The wicked man does not grieve: you grieve, and perhaps he too will grieve. Just as when the sick man sees the physician taking food, he too is encouraged; so it will be here: if he sees you lamenting, he will be softened; he will become a good and gentle man. “Not knowing,” he says, “what will happen to me.” What then? Is that why you go? Not at all; but I know very well that bonds and afflictions await me. That trials await me I know, but what kind I do not know; which was harder. So do not think that I say these things lamenting: I do not hold my life precious. He says these things to raise up their mind, and to persuade them not only not to flee, but also to bear things nobly. That is why he calls the matter a course and a ministry: the one showing its brilliance, from the race; the other its obligation, from the ministry. I am a servant, he says; I have nothing more. Having comforted them, so that they might not grieve over his sufferings, and having said that he bears these things with joy, and having shown the fruit, he then brings in what is painful. And he does this so as not to overwhelm their mind. What is this? “And from among your own selves men will arise speaking perverse things.” “What then,” someone might say, “do you think so much of yourself that, if you go away, we perish?” I do not say, he says, that my absence does this; but what? That some will rise up against you. He did not say, “because of my departure,” but “after my departure,” that is, my going abroad; and yet this had already happened; and if it had happened, much more will it happen afterward. Then the cause too: “to draw away the disciples after them.” So heresies come from nothing else but this. Then comfort as well: “which he obtained,” he says, “with his own blood.” And if he obtained it with his own blood, he will surely protect it. “Night and day,” he says, “I did not cease to admonish with tears.” These things might rightly be said to us; and the word seems to be addressed especially to teachers, but it is common to the disciples as well. For what if I speak and exhort and weep night and day, and the disciple does not obey? For so that no one might think that being a disciple and not yielding is enough for a defense, therefore, having said “I testify,” he added, “For I did not shrink from declaring to you.” So this alone is the teacher’s part: to declare, to preach, to teach, not to shrink back, to exhort night and day; but when, with these things done, nothing more comes of it, you know what remains. Then another defense too: that “I am clean of the blood of all.” Do not think that these things are said to us only; for this word is addressed to you too, that you should attend to what is said, that you should not run away from the hearing … What shall I do? See, every day I split myself shouting: “Keep away from the theaters,” and many laugh at us; “Keep away from swearing, from greed”; we give countless exhortations, and no one listens. But do I not speak at night? I would have liked to do this at night too, and at your tables, if it were possible to be divided into ten thousand pieces and to be present with you and talk with you; but if we call you once a week and you are reluctant, and some of you do not even come, and those who come go away having gained nothing more, what would you not have done if we did this continually? What shall we do? Many, I know, even disparage us because we always talk about the same things … not you, but the hearers themselves. For the one who does right always rejoices to hear the same things, as though praises of himself were being spoken; but the one who does not want to do right thinks himself troubled, and even if he hears a thing only twice, thinks he hears it often. “I am clean of the blood of all,” he says.

It befitted Paul to say this; but we do not dare to say it, being conscious of ten thousand faults. Therefore it befitted that man to say it, who was always watchful and attentive, who did everything for the salvation of those he discipled; but we will say the words of Moses: “The Lord was angry with me because of you,” because … into many sins. … seeing that you do not make progress, does not most of our strength fail? For tell me, what has happened? See, by the grace of God we too now have three years, exhorting not night and day, but often doing this every three days or every seven. What has happened? … we [weep], if not openly, then in the heart. And those tears are much harder than these; for those bring some comfort to the despondent, but these increase and tighten it. So too when someone is in despondency and cannot bring out his pain, so as not to seem vainglorious, he suffers more than if he had brought it out. If no one would judge me guilty of excessive ambition, you would see me every day pouring out fountains of tears; but these are known to my little room and my solitude. For believe me, I have despaired of my own salvation, but in lamenting your affairs I have no leisure even to mourn my own evils; so much are you everything to me. And if I perceive that you are making progress, I do not feel my own evils for pleasure; and if I see that you are not making progress, I pass over my own again for despondency: cheerful at your good things, even if I have countless troubles; gloomy at your sorrows, even if I have countless achievements. For what hope has a teacher when the flock is corrupted? What life, what expectation? With what boldness will he stand before God? What will he say? For let us suppose that he is not even accused, nor pays a penalty, but is clean of the blood of all; even so he will suffer incurable grief; since fathers too, though they will not be accused on behalf of their children, nevertheless grieve and are stung. “And this does not help them at all,” one says, “nor protect them, that they keep watch over our souls?” But they keep watch as those who will give account; and to some this seems fearful, but to me it is of no account after your destruction. For whether I give account or do not, it is no help to me. May it be that you are saved, and that I give account for your sake; that you are saved, and I am accused as not having fulfilled my part. For I am not concerned that you be saved through me, but only that you be saved, through anyone at all. Do you not know the tyranny of spiritual birth pangs, how one in labor with this birth would choose to be cut to pieces ten thousand times rather than see one of those born perishing and corrupted? How shall we persuade you? From nothing else; but by what is done we shall clear ourselves in all that concerns you. We too can say that we have not shrunk back; but still we grieve; and that we grieve is clear from the countless things we contrive and devise. And yet it was possible to say to you yourselves: “What do I care? I have done my part; I am clean of the blood.” But this is not enough for comfort. If it were possible to tear open our heart and show it, you would see all of you within it with much room to spare, women and children and men; for such is the power of love: it makes the soul wider than heaven. “Make room for us,” said Paul; “we have wronged no one; you are not restricted in us.” This is what we too say now: “Make room for us.” That man had all Corinth in his heart, and said, “You too be enlarged; you are not restricted.” But I could not say this myself; for I know well that you too love us and make room for us. But what is the gain of my love or of yours, when what is according to God does not advance for us? It is a cause of greater despondency, an occasion of more harm. I have nothing to accuse you of: “For I bear you witness that, if possible, you would have plucked out your eyes and given them to me.” “We were yearning to share with you not only the gospel but also our own lives.” We are loved and we love; but this is not what is sought. Let us, then, love Christ first; for the first commandment is, “You shall love the Lord your God,” and the second is like it, “and your neighbor as yourself.” We have the second; we need the first; both I and you need the first in great abundance. We have it, but not as we ought. Let us love him: you know how great a reward is laid up for those who have loved Christ. Let us love him with warmth of soul, so that, enjoying his goodwill, we may escape the surge of the present life, and be counted worthy to obtain the good things promised to those who love him, by the grace and love for humankind of his only-begotten Son, with whom to the Father together with the Holy Spirit be glory, might, honor, now and always and to the ages of ages. Amen.